Tips for a harmonious married life

First of all, kindly note that these tips are from me, who has never been in a relationship and is single, and these tips are my beliefs and philosophical thoughts. Below are some tips for a harmonious married life:

<1> Flexibility & adjustments are important. Two people with two different mindsets, worlds of their own, and beliefs of their own. Opposites do attract. And that also means new experiences for the two involved; they bring their viewpoints in many aspects of life to each other. In this case, both need to be flexible and adjust to each other in a way that one's beliefs do not overpower the other's. Making sure that both are able to express their views in various matters to the full extent and do as they please as well. This applies even in cases where both individuals involved share the same mindset and ideals, moral values, and philosophies.

<2> Love & forgiveness are vital. Show your spouse how much you love her/him. Through your actions and words and more. As much as love is vital, forgiveness could be a crucial factor as well. What if your spouse did something wrong? How far are you willing to forgive her/him for the same? True love will eventually make the spouse realise your deep love and will ensure she/he do not do something that would hurt you. However, in the event that something like that happens, forgiveness will be the saving factor for the marriage. In my opinion, if the love is true and deep enough, forgiveness will be there naturally.

<3> Acceptance & appreciation is important. You need to fully accept the person as she/he is. Marriage is a union between two people, and accepting as well as appreciating your life partner is an essential part of the marriage. Certainly, throughout the years, both will adapt and grow together, and their union will bring changes to each other as well. Both people involved will evolve each other through love, care, warmth, etc., for each other. The changes over the years are also to be accepted and appreciated, and that will happen naturally if they love each other.

<4> Respect & listen. Marrying someone means living with her/him for life, and one must respect the spouse and listen to what she/he is saying. If you are not willing to listen and do only what you want, then you are affecting someone else’s life with your decisions, which they may not necessarily like. It is very important that you listen to your life partner. Mutual respect is key. Where there is respect, there is no scope for major issues. In case you have strong preferences of your own, you should let your spouse know about the same and request what you wish to do and then respect their decision and try to follow their path or try to work around it together so that both of you are satisfied in the end with the decisions which you both make.

<5> Transparency & honesty. Being honest is a must, and maintaining both honesty and transparency, before and after the marriage, is also required. Let each other be aware of your past in full, so in future if someone tries to tell you about your past, you can tell them that you are fully aware of the same. No one can break a transparent and honest relationship. No third party can enter and affect such a marriage where everything was known and declared, and things are kept transparent. Neither any relatives would be able to break such marriages. You are wishing to spend your life with someone, and it is important that they know everything about you and your past and your future preferences as well and vice versa.

<6> Commitment & devotion. Let's say you married someone while they were rich or healthy or in better circumstances of life. What if one of you gets seriously ill in future? Will you maintain your vows and commit to the marriage and devote your life to your spouse? What if they have enemies or face a financial crisis in future? Do they have your back? If your spouse cannot count on you throughout their entire life, then is that marriage even considered a union? What if one of you cannot procreate and is unable to have children? Marriage demands commitment and, in my humble opinion, absolute devotion as well. You should not consider marrying if the primary reasons are selfish and materialistic. Marriage is more than health, wealth, materialistic and physical pleasures; it involves spiritual connection and evolution of two souls, and their love for each other naturally includes commitment and devotion.

<7> Don’t criticize & be humble. One should not criticize the spouse and be humble and thankful for their presence in your life. If anything, you should try to analyze your own actions towards your spouse. Ensure that she/he is never hurt by any of your actions or words. Gratitude is always helpful. You can always advise them on various things, but never criticize. Keep things light and easy with them. Praise, pamper, and tell them how much they mean to you in your life. One needs to always be appreciative and thankful for their spouse. Life only gets better when happiness and sadness are shared with each partner, and both need to be helpful and appreciative of each other instead of criticizing.

<8> Be understanding & not demanding. No one is perfect, and every one of us has their shortcomings. It is better to suggest to your spouse what you prefer instead of telling them how and what to do and what not to do. Do not be a demanding person to your spouse; rather, be understanding. Those who understand each other properly are likely to have a very harmonious married life. Give each other proper attention and observe each other deeply. Two is better than one, so cover up their shortcomings by doing your best instead of telling them about it. In marriage, both people involved are to understand each other, grow together, not just as a better couple to each other but also as better people.

<9> Actively communicate & talk to each other. Someone recently told me that suppressing your feelings can lead to a sudden burst eventually. A wife and husband should constantly communicate with each other regarding every matter, even if it is something trivial. Similarly, if there is something that one has said that might have hurt the other, it should be mentioned as soon as possible, ideally within the same day, preferably at night when things are quiet. And if there are feelings that require expression, then that should be done as soon as possible as well. If you cannot be fully expressive, you are missing out on one of the most important parts of marriage.

<10> Be fully as you are & more. One needs to not just be ok with being as they are in marriage, but also show the full and sometimes hidden expects of yourself to your spouse, even those who may not be aware of, and even those you may feel that the other person might think of you as not so good. Marriage is a union between two people that is meant to be the deepest form of interaction between two human beings, that involves all good and potentially not so good aspects, and that these things could be as deep as to be at the soul level. If some parts of you are dark, in that case, you can eventually improve yourself out of it through the warm company of your spouse. Living your life with someone involves growth, not just physical and emotional, but also spiritual.

Ultimately, it falls down to all of the above-mentioned points, and more to make the marriage a harmonious relationship, and thereby life itself will be happy, peaceful and harmonious.